Yesterday message really touched me and set my mind spinning. He opened the message telling us that he teaches a class and the very first assignment he gives every year is a 3 week project, he gives them a statement or a word to meditate on, dwell on, ponder and use daily. This year he used a word and that was the word “FATHER” – While in the prayer room, devotional time or personal prayer time they are suppose to just pray or say “FATHER”
He goes on telling them that when you go to prayer and all you say is Father that leaves a lot of empty space to fill, how do you fill it? What does Father mean to you/me? His point is so many Christians don’t know Him as Father. He asked the question… “When you are calling out to God, when you really need Him, when your back is up against the wall, how to you call out to him? This made me think about my own life and my relationship with God.
He used Jesus as an example, when he was going to the cross Jesus knew what he was in for, he knew that he would be beaten, whipped, his flesh tore off his bones, nailed to a cross and hung to die a very painful and ugly death — he knew that Judas was betraying him, he knew what the next couple of days held for him and how did he call out to God? “ABBA, POPPA, OH FATHER…..” knowing that his father loved him and cared about him, he called out of LOVE!!!
Yesterday afternoon I went to the prayer room for a couple of hours and decided to try this excercise, I just kept saying “father” and sitting, meditating on this and trying to capture how I filled the empty space in my prayer. My mind went to my father, especially my relationship with him as a little boy and very young man. My thoughts went to times when my father worked nights and my mom made sure we did not make much noise and wake him up or bother him, he was right through that closed door but if we woke him or bothered him it would be like thunder roared out of that room. I also thought of how I would always try to hide things from my father, the less he knew the better off everything was. When it came to anything, school, friends, family issues, my father was kept in the dark. He was a good man and I had no doubt he loved me, but not the kind of love that I would call him POPPA, or crawl up in his lap for comfort and protection.
I asked God to forgive me once again in my life yesterday, for not trusting him and always hiding from him, which always turns into performance lifestyle. I asked him to show me and teach me about the Fathers love. He gently reminded me of my grandchildren, who crawl up in my lap with a blanket and lay their head on my shoulder, how when I walk in the room they smile and say “POPPA” and run to me. Or how they come and show me with excitement the new toy they just discovered.
It is all built on relationship, pure and simple.
So, yesterday this is how I filled the empty space in my prayer — and I walk away with a fresh understanding of LOVE and purity of it. This is my journey for the next 3 weeks.
Have a fantastic day.