My car has been acting up, I drive about 80 miles or more a day so I put a lot of miles on a car. My car now is pushing right at 120K and it’s just a cheap little commuter car. So the other day I’m driving home and not sure if I’m going to make it or not, there is an electrical problem and it’s cutting in and out. As I’m driving home and I’m thinking I’m going to get stuck miles from home on a dark country road I started thinking about all the blog’s I’ve been writing, about self-control, anger, violent temper etc……I made the choice at that moment to accept what is going on and not get upset by it……if I break down then I break down it’s not the end of the world! I made it home and told Diane I would have to take her car the next day because mine is pretty sick.
I do not have the money to fix it right now and not sure what we will do yet, but I do know that my attitude on this is more important than it being fixed. What I noticed is it has not been a battle for me, it is what it is, it’s not anyone’s fault, it just is. So on Saturday I drove Diane’s car to work. She LOVES her little mustang for sure and I know this. On the way home I am driving along listening to a CD that Diane had in the car, it is a dark and winding road.
The song that came on was an old song we used to do at my church, it says “how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you…….” I LOVED that song and I started worshipping, the thought hit me right in the middle of that song…….nothing else really matters, what I drive, if my car is down or what, if I have food on my table, If my health is perfect or not, if people don’t like me or they do like me, if my job is perfect, if my PG&E bill is late…..nothing really matters, I have HIM – how can I stand on this earth and not be moved, not be happy, not be satisfied when after all I’ve done in my life, all the damage, hurt and pain I’ve caused in so many people and family members, HE STILL LOVES ME and is TEACHING ME!! I was very thankful at that moment……….I put that song on repeat and listened to it all the way home.
I get into Valley Springs about 1/2 mile from home cruising along and my heart was FULL, my Spirit was SOARING, my wife was waiting at home for me and I though WOW what a blessed man I am……..everything is good!!! And the out of nowhere a DEER much bigger than my car ran right in front of me and it scared the CRAP out of me and a second later while trying to catch my breath a second one jump and ran right into the front of Diane’s baby (mustang) and things went flying!! It was like hitting a brick wall, I looked back and the deer was running off the road… (I’m pretty sure) I was shocked and my heart was racing!! The car still ran and I had no idea of the damage until I got home.
I didn’t want to see it and more than that I didn’t want to let Diane see it – I got home and called her outside to show her the damage, my heart was still racing. She was pretty sad but thankful I was OK………but the look on her face 😦
As I laid my head down for bed last night I was asking God why? I could gently hear his speaking to me…..”there is no “why”, it’s part of the world, deer run they don’t know what a car is……” and almost chuckled and then remembered my worship as I drove home….”How can I stand here in front of you and not be moved by you…” and thanked him for an incredible day…….. I have a wife that loves me, a family that loves me a roof over my head, my health is good and a dog that makes me smile. 🙂
Sometimes in life we are just cruising along singing, skipping and full of joy and without a moments notice BAM everything changes……. good be financial, could be a death of a loved one, could be bad health, could be ANYTHING, it’s LIFE and life is REAL………but for the Christian if your life is IN HIM there is peace that goes beyond our human understanding…. I have Him if I lose everything else. I am learning at the young age of 61 how to LOVE and how to be THANKFUL.
It’s just a CAR