Living in the Red

I’ve been in different types of businesses over the years. I have signed up for so many different multi-marketing get rich and live the life companies over the years. I have never made a dime doing it but I have personally met MANY people who have and are very successful. It has always been the reason I was drawn to it.

For the most part it always sounded like easy work and get rich…. they have it all mapped out so all you have to do is sign up and pay your money and BAM you are on the road to riches. One thing most and I want to emphasize the word MOST incorporate God into the equation. Honor God and he will help you be all you can be in this business!! They make Him part of the “values” in the business.

On the surface this is a good concept, God does bless those who honor him. But what happens people end up using God to help them get what they want, I really don’t think that it’s that way on purpose for many they just don’t know any better. When the business fails, God is left behind in their lives for the most part.

What is missing is the “relationship” with God, if you do not KNOW Him there is NO WAY POSSIBLE to have a relationship with Him. And that is where the problem becomes an issue.

Here is the Word (in red) that I think of when I see this taking place…

“You must not test the Lord your God” Matt. 4:7

Some people have the natural talent and gifts to be a strong leader in sales, management or recruiting people into a business, other’s do not but can develop it. The first thing in life, business, family, school or anything we set ourselves to should always be a relationship with the Father God. Build your business with Him as the center or the rock on which it is built. Make it about Him not you, not your talent, not your $$$’s and the list goes on.

Like I said in my very first post — I believe that Christians (followers of Jesus, lovers of the Father) should stand out in the business world, should be the MOST successful in the business world.

Never test him, never try to use him to make it in this world. HE IS YOUR WORLD and everything else will be added.

Have a fantastic weekend and stay healthy

How to live a prosperous life

In today’s world people think that they can accomplish anything if they have enough. If you work hard and make lot’s of money your life will be easy or at least easier. Some even think that they can avoid depression or sickness….I think of big Hollywood stars, when they make it big in the business and they have all they need plus more, all of a sudden so many of them become the “voice” of humanity, how to live, what to believe, what not to believe, how to vote, what is right and what is wrong.

This takes place in all of our lives to some degree we all think we are experts in some area of life. In some respects this is a good thing, people need to have role models in life. Right?

I LOVE talking with people about how they ended up in the career they are in or how they started the business they own, it’s inspiring to me. MOST I have found kind of stumble into where they are. We all need to have vision, we need to have goals, we need to have a plan and know how to execute that plan and vision. But in everything we do we have to have a center, a place in our lives that keeps us grounded, keeps us knowing what is important and what is not. I have found that if we learn to think bigger than ourselves and we see and understand the “big picture” in life we will go into success with a firm foundation that won’t allow us to be moved to the left or the right.

Jesus spoke these words in Matthew 4:4

“It takes more than bread to stay alive. It takes a steady stream of words from God’s mouth.”

We do not have life and life abundantly by what we can purchase, we may be able to buy the world but that will not give us life. God’s Word will give you life and life more abundantly. (full life)

I want to encourage you: if you are starting your business, career, schooling, or what ever it is, stay focused, know the source of your life. IF you do make it and become rich enough to help others and life a nice comfortable life…..remember it’s not your riches that give you true life, it’s God’s very Word. This one simple, small little verse could change your world.

Blessings

rich poor

Living in the Red

Living In the RED 

I am going to start a daily or close to daily very short message on “Living in the Red”
 
The aim is directed to our daily lives when it comes to business, family and friends. I am going to use the Words of Jesus that are usually found in RED when you read them in the Bible. In the business world “being in the RED” means you are operating in a LOSS, it’s not a good thing. It’s all about the BLACK – operating in a profit.
 
I believe it is scriptural for us to live and lead successful lives, there is nothing wrong with profit in the work place. In fact I will go on to say the we should as followers of Jesus be the most successful people on the planet. BUT Jesus said this in Matthew 16: What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?
 
And this is where living in the RED comes into play. Live in the LOSS of the world, by that I mean greed, arrogance, in it for just the money, etc…. So as we lose ourselves of the world we gain our soul. Being successful is not about how much money you can get, how big or a house you can buy, how nice of a car you can drive. It’s all about what kind of DIFFERENCE you can make in this world and what you leave behind when you leave this world…….. LOVE and wisdom that people have gained from your life.
If you conduct your life in such a positive and loving way you will not only be successful but you will be a person people are drawn to, want to follow and want to design their lives after.
 
Everything I write will be from words in Red and I will try to bring it into our world when it comes to business, family, friends, neighbors, co-workers and school mates.

I Want a Painting of this Song

I see it, just can’t do it. A broken down house with the words ….

“Once It Held Laughter….

Once if Held Dreams…

Without Love it’s just a House Where Nobody Lives”

There’s a house on my block
That’s abandoned and cold
Folks moved out of it a
Long time ago
And they took all their things
And they never came back
Looks like it’s haunted
With the windows all cracked
And everyone call it
The house, the house where
Nobody lives
Once it held laughter
Once it held dreams
Did they throw it away
Did they know what it means
Did someone’s heart break
Or did someone do somebody wrong?
Well the paint was all cracked
It was peeled off of the wood
Papers were stacked on the porch
Where I stood
And the weeds had grown up
Just as high as the door
There were birds in the chimney
And an old chest of drawers
Looks like no one will ever
Come back to the
House were nobody lives
Once it held laughter
Once it held dreams
Did they throw it away
Did they know what it means
Did someone’s heart break
Or did someone do someone wrong?
So if you find someone
Someone to have, someone to hold
Don’t trade it for silver
Don’t trade it for gold
I have all of life’s treasures
And they are fine and they are good
They remind me that houses
Are just made of wood
What makes a house grand
Ain’t the roof or the doors
If there’s love in a house
It’s a palace for sure
Without love…
It ain’t nothin but a house
A house where nobody lives
Without love it ain’t nothin
But a house, a house where
Nobody lives.

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How My Life has Changed –

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A few days ago I was cleaning out files on my computer, old notes, sermons, and junk from years ago that I no longer need or want. I came across a Word file titled “What I would do different” and decided to open it up and see what it was. As soon as I started reading it I realized it was a letter I wrote to my wife back in 2012.

In 2012 our world was turned upside down and it would never be the same again on so many levels and in so many ways. When  wrote this letter my wife (Diane) was in Kansas City and I was in California, at that point I thought our marriage was over for ever. She left on a plane not knowing if she would come back to this marriage or not, she was a mess and was at the end of her rope when everything finally went down.

This letter got me thinking for the last few days, has had me looking back over the last 60 years of my life, it has me thinking of who I am today and how different I am. I am having a hard time even understanding how I could have lived the way I did. In 2012 and 2013 I was in some intense counseling and some intense times with the Father. Although for most of 2012 He was silent towards me!

I knew and understood for the first time in my life that I needed change for ME not for my marriage and anyone else in this world, I made the choice I would go through this pain of facing myself, try to understand who and what I was and become the man I was born to be, with or without my wife. When everything first came to the surface and life fell apart I remember my sister-in-law telling me she thought I was a narcissist, I got really angry with her and let her know with all I had that I was not a narcissist!!! The truth be known at that point in my life I didn’t even know what a narcissist was or what it meant but I assured her I was NOT one.

Narcissist <– click this link to see pages of what a “Narcissist” is all about.

During one of my counseling sessions Dr D (a great man by the way) brought up the “N” word and it caught my attention for the first time in my life. As weeks went by we would talk about this in depth and little by little we reached deeper and deeper into my actions, motives and lies. I ended up seeing the real me for the first time and I DID NOT like what I saw one bit.

All of my life I made myself the center of attention, I was the “fun” guy, the funny guy and everyone loved me. When I would walk into a room I made sure people knew I was entering the room. I would make people feel good about themselves, make them laugh and make them feel as though I was their best friend in life, even if just met one another. People figured I had a million friends and wanted into my circle. I learned very early in my life how to manipulate people and when things didn’t go right I knew how to make them feel it was their fault.

The truth was I never had any real friends, not deep friendships. Once in awhile one would come along and in most cases I would ruin that friendship and then blame them for it, not only that I would make sure everyone around me knew it was them not me.

A narcissist is a narcissist, what I mean by that is you can’t separate that from your career, your relationships, your marriage (and a narcissist usually has multiple marriages), being a parent. So if you clicked on the link I posted you can get a pretty good idea what I was like as a husband and a father.

So there is a HUGE contrast to who I used to be and who I am now. There are times I question myself and wonder why I’m not more of a type “A” personality like I used to be when it comes to work and social life. I’m sure some of it has to do with age but most is due to change.

Today I want to walk with humility and thankfulness more than with pride and trying to make people think I’m all of that. The problem for me is I start believing I am all of that, believing that the world is a better place because I’m in it. That people want to be like me, want to get close to me etc etc.

The word that is on my heart in this season of my life and to finish strong and true. For 60 years of my life I ruined relationships, I hurt SO many people over the years. People I knew and people I didn’t know. I have been a horrible husband and father for so many years.

I do not want to be remembered as that man, I want to be remembered as a man who loved, could be trusted 100%, was true to his word, loved God and people.

Here is the letter I wrote my wife in 2012

What would I do different?

This is a very difficult question to answer for me, there are SO many things I would do different looking back. Would I be able to? I am not sure of the answer. When all this happened I was a mess too – my career was ended, my work, my passion, my life was turned upside down. And it was all My doing 100%.

My thought was to work on the family first – my marriage first – after that I would work on myself and then try to repair my relationship with NHCC! After reading, listening, and counseling I would do it completely different knowing what I know now.

I knew that I hurt you, I knew that you were crushed, I knew that you were broken but I didn’t understand the depth and the severity of the pain. I didn’t understand what you were going through in fact I was so focused on what I was going through that I didn’t see you.

And then trying to understand it was more than just this one incident but it was our entire life together…… that was overwhelming and I was in a place that I couldn’t handle it. Knowing the things I know now I can see my wrong in so many things.

To begin, when you left and went to KC and TN for the time you did, I should have worked on my relationship with the Lord………. That was the last thing I did, I focused on 1. Getting a job. 2. Getting you back. 3. Self pity.. When you came home I knew it would be a very hard road but in my stupidity I figured since you forgave me we would just move forward and the past would be the past…… NOT REALIZING that it does not work that way at all, that this was deeper and more devastating than I ever imagined.

When you came home and we decided to move forward instead of being offended when you would get triggered I would have allowed it and tried to comfort you, feel what you were feeling and kept my mouth shut. Well this holds true today too.

In this book you gave me 15 steps to repair – man Diane I was wrong on EACH ONE – If I knew or maybe if I was right with God I would have and could have done it all differently.

Here is the bottom line……I acknowledge your pain, your hurt and your questions. IF I was right with the Lord and had a heart towards you in the first place I would not have been where I was, but I did………..if I had my heart right after this I could have seen so much clearer, I could have answered all your questions without being defensive, trying to protect you or protect me.

Yesterday in counseling we talked in depth about this issue and Dr. D spoke about this and a light came on, I don’t know maybe my heart was ready for it and was open to it. We talked about the core of who I am, does my spirit man and my flesh match up, does my life reflect my spirit-man or my flesh, if they don’t match the flesh will always win and what comes out is really what is inside of me.

If the cup is clean on the inside it would reflect on the outside. If the Spirit is really in control of my life and I am really resting in Him there is NO way for me to take offense to your triggers, questions, insecurities, etc. I would be more concerned about you than me and in the long run that would draw you to me as the “priest” of our marriage. There would be NO WAY possible to ever fall into temptations again.

That the Lord will give us a Love that is REAL and DEEP that can’t be shaken. We talked about how it would be natural for me to be more concerned about your feeling, hurts, pains and insecurities than mine. IF there is something that is upsetting to me it is because there is something I want our of this that I’m not getting……… go to Jesus and ask Him to reveal it. THEOPHOSTIC!!!

So bottom line Diane, I can read all the books I want, I can go through all the programs I want and if my heart isn’t changed then nothing will change it will always be a battle, it will always be a fight for me to “try” and be a good husband a good man. I am done with living like this. The Lord has set me free in the past, He has taken over my heart completely in the past, I walked away, it was slow and gradual but I did it. Looking back I don’t think I have EVER given him EVERYTHING in my life………. Well it’s pretty obvious.

This happening has been the best thing that has ever happened to me (now I can say this) I once again in my life have made a choice to “go into the deep” and give it all to Him.  I can’t be a good husband to you because I want to, I can’t give you the things your need, the love, the security you need because I want to but I can’t give it to you because of HIM!!!

I am so very sorry that all this has taken place, I am sorry for all the pain, the hurt and the LIES I’ve given to you over the years…….. I want you and you alone as my wife, my soul mate, my lover. I am SORRY with all of my heart and all of my being.

So here is my commitment to you. I will not read a bunch of books and make commitments to the steps they lay out, I will not be taking courses and memorize the steps and try to do them. I will read books, take courses, go to counseling and commit them to the Lord and ask Him to help me in these things. I will work on my relationship with Him, learn to REST IN HIM with all of my life, to trust Him with my life – once I am there and remain there I will be the husband that you’ve read about – that you drean about. My desire will not be for my needs but yours.

My life with Him is not about YOU, not doing this to keep you, to make you happy, but I realize it’s the ONLY place I can life from this day forward.

I think I finally get it!!!

It’s almost a NEW YEAR

2016-god-is-to-know-his-word

January 1st we started as a family “read through the bible in 1 year” 

It started out pretty strong in the family and we had one outside the family sign up because of Jenna, was pretty cool. My daughter Misty got into it and I believe she found God to be something more than she expected. I know Rico was hard into this.

I have tried hard to keep everyone motivated to finish this and at the same time I did not want to put any guilt on anyone at all. For me finishing this was much more than just “finishing it” but it was about committing to something and finishing at the goal line. It has been up and down for me, I fell behind a few times but always caught back up.

For me the exciting thing was the discussions we would all have online as questions were asked. Misty really made me dig a few times and I LOVED IT!!!

To those of you who are still reading YES YES YES and if you dropped out and picked it back up finish the last 2 weeks of December off and watch how the Lord blesses you! (of course we are not doing this to be blessed or anything else) JUST want you to KNOW Him in an intimate way, in a deep way. IF you don’t know Him there is NO way to love Him and allowing him to LOVE YOU!!!

It was fun guys and thank you for doing your part. I LOVE YOU!!!!

Comment below and give an idea of how you did and what it meant for you,

What a way to live!!!

 

 

 

 

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1Thessalonians 5:
I just finished chapter 5 this morning and here are the highlights that spoke to me…
1. Be alert, be clearheaded
2. We don’t belong to darkness and night – vs 7: Night is the time when people sleep and drinkers get drunk – but we are to stay clearheaded.
3. Encourage each other and build each other up…
4. Honor those who are your leaders in the Lord’s work
5. Warn those who are lazy –
6. Encourage those who are timid
7. Take TENDER care of those who are weak
8. Be patient with everyone.
9. DO NOT scoff at prophecies
10. Stay away from EVERY KIND of evil.

Sounds like a pretty peaceful way to live. LOVE others and take care of others – Can only be done when you know who you are in the Lord –